I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
