Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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