It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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