my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
