I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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