I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
