Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I just sharted jello shots
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
