We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
