I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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