i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize