People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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