Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
