I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
