Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You are a genius and a whore.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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