Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
