I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
