stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
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I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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