i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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