READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
