Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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