I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
