You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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