3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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