I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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