i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i barfeds in our rink
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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