Where is the hickey?
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize