I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
