***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
