He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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