I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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