He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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