Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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