He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
