yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
