He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
