is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
