I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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