I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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