So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
