Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
