Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
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I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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