Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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