I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Randomize
