god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
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Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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