Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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