Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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