Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
