Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
