So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
