At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
