i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
