Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
