you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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