i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
