I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
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So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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