Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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