fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
