is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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