If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Buhtt sex?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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