hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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