His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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